The best anti-wrinkle treatment is staring you in the face, literally.
How many hours a day do you spend looking at your phone or any sort of screen? 8? 9? Understandable. It’s a normal part of our lifestyle to be eyes glued to technology, because that’s where life happens these days. And how often do you type ‘Hahahaha’ or ‘LOL’ or even ‘I just peed a little bit reading that’ with a completely blank expression on your face? Yup, all the time. I thought so. Expressing no emotion when on your devices is completely rational. It’s one of the many strange habits that these machines make us do. You may be laughing like a banshee in your head and this joy has then zoomed all the way down to your finger tips to type how hilarious it is, but actually stretching out a smile and chuckling in real life physically at your phone instead of a human face would just make you look a bit mad so we don’t do it. And the more we don’t do it, the more our faces remain flat as pancakes. And the longer we spend on our phones, laptops, tablets and TVs the more our faces will stay lifeless. This may not be so much of a problem now but think about the long-term affects when every waking moment will most likely be spent in a pixelated world. Imagine not smiling for most of your life, just like that crazy bint a few months ago who claimed to not have smiled in 40 years to prevent wrinkles. We all thought she was mental (I mean, what miserable crone can’t crack a smile for that long, seriously?), but the truth is, we’re inadvertently doing that ourselves just so we don’t miss that article on 38 Things To Do With Ketchup – heaven forbid. Kim K also follows this rule. Her moody picture pout isn’t because she’s unhappy, it’s to avert those pesky crows feet and we all know what she says goes.
The beauty industry is already inundated with ludicrous anti-ageing treatments and tips, with each revelation becoming weirder and more far-fetched than the last. Our fear of wrinkles has already preceded us to put camel sperm on our skin, with little or no real results. So we may as well give up the ghost, sack the lot in and just keep on staring, scrolling and liking to our hearts content to keep the dents at bay.
And so the spindling spiral will continue until in 20 years time the world will be filled with speechless screen tappers who have 24 hour resting bitch face and won’t know what a smile is or how to laugh and what a time to be alive that will be.
If this doesn’t sound like your idea of heaven, then I suggest you either start spending less time looking at cat videos (fat chance) or actually start smiling and even laughing when someone sends something pants-wetting via instant message because unavoidably that’s where a lot of our relationships lie and will continue to lie until we can find a way to actually become robots. This solution to wrinkles may be emotion crippling and extremely antisocial, but it’s free and pretty inescapable unless we do something about it. But hey, smile. Maybe wrinkles will be trendy one day?
